How to Make Your Children Love the Piano...and other lies.

Contributing Staff
Rich Women Sisterhood

Written by Jennilyn McKinnon

I am the mother of six children that are all learning to play an instrument. We have many hours of practice time going on through out the day. I have tried many different tactics to keep my kids playing; everything from manipulation to bribery has been tried and tested. Recently I attended a concert with a master violinist, Jenny Oaks Baker. As I listened I felt inspired and uplifted. I thought, if only my children would want to play like that, they would love to practice. There must be a secret code and if I can only figure it out, my children will practice because they love it and want to.

Knowing that Jenny had 4 children all learning instruments, (she let it slip in her bio), I asked her after the performance, “How do you inspire your children to practice?” I was expecting the magic bullet as I leaned in close to hear the answer to my woes. Her response came quick and short.

I am a mean mother. I simply make them practice.” No bribery with money or candy, no magic bullet. That was it. Make them practice. How does that work, I asked? As we discussed this a little longer she gave me this advice. Don’t bribe them to do something that is good for them, instead encourage them, sit with them and guide them. Make that time quality time. Don’t expect them to pick up and practice by themselves. As they learn, this time will be less and less, then the day will come when you can listen from the kitchen.

It’s also ok, and very acceptable to withhold praise and privileges until practicing is done. Remember that you are the parent, developing and guiding the child. Remove all guilt. Even when there is ranting and raving. Instill the idea, that “this is just what is expected in our family.” As parents we go to work, everyone has a job, and one of yours is to practice.

This conversation put my heart at ease. It gave me permission to “be a mean mother,” and simply make them practice. Now, do I withhold food and water? No, but very close to it. I have taken away the X-box, the play station, the computer, the t.v., friends, and all other “precious privileges” until music lessons and homework are done and then I lavish them with privileges and praise. So far, this little manipulation tactic is working and is perfectly acceptable. So to all you mothers out there feeling like me, I hereby give you permission to be a “mean mother, and simply make them practice.”

By Jennilyn McKinnon

Jennilyn McKinnon has loved to write from the time her mother handed her a journal at age six. Her passion for writing comes from life experiences from being raised in a family of eight siblings, (4 girls, 4 boys) and now raising a family with six children, a dog, and a snake. She is also a registered nurse and an individual health and wellness practitioner. She is currently working on her first book, “Free To Be Me & Loving It.